This article is about a woman, Crystal Warren, who has admitted her addiction to sex. As discussed in class, sexual addictions are extremely normalized as a man’s addiction. The by-line of this article states “she had 40 lovers by the age of 17; once had sex with 7 men in 24 hours.” Though the numbers are somewhat shocking they are even more shocking because it is a woman experiencing this vast number of sexual encounters. Ferree’s article, “”Females and Sex Addiction” describes 6 myths associated with females and sex addiction. The first one being that women are not sexually addicted. This myth has been perpetuated because women do not talk about their sexual addiction due to shame and stigma. This relates to the Oppression article because women often face double binds, where they have a choice but both choices are bad. A famous double-bind women face is the “virgin/whore dichotomy.” (Frye, 2010) In this double bind, if a woman chooses to be abstinent and not engage in sex she is labeled prude and if she does have sex she is labeled as a whore. This double-bind is exaggerated for women suffering from sexual addictions. Depending on the type of sexual addiction (Ferree, 2001), women who have a typical sexual addiction, by having one night stands and anonymous sex, are seen as very easy or “huge sluts” contrasted to women suffering from sexual anorexia as being seen as “frigid” or “prude”. And if the sexual anorexic women are married they could be ruining their families by not having sex with their husbands.
In Crystal Warren’s life she was having frequent anonymous sex and one night stands. The article denies another myth about female sex addicts in that “the motivation for females acting out is neediness.” (Ferree, 2001). Crystal Warren describes her sexual addiction by saying “All I knew was that I felt good about myself when I was having sex.” (“It’s not my,” 2012). For Crystal, the motivation for sex was power and feeling good about herself not about feeling needed by the men she slept with. The motivation can also be due to feelings of loneliness that is rooted in trauma. In line with this concept, Crystal believes the root of her addiction was seeing her parents marriage fail when she was 5 years-old (“It’s not my”, 2012).
This article was a positive piece of news on sexual addiction. Crystal Warren chose to come forward about her addiction which is a step towards fighting through the shame and stigma attached for women. Shaef described sexual addiction by saying “[it] is a hidden addiction. I have found more willingness to confront almost any other addiction. Sexual addiction carries a particularly large component of shame and denial with it. Paradoxically, it is also one of the addictions that is most integrated into our society as ‘normal’” (Shaef, 1989). Crystal is taking a step forward to admit her addiction. This is not the case for many women who suffer from sexual addictions. Molly is a woman chronicled in Shaef’s article. Molly suffers from sexual anorexia, almost the complete opposite from Crystal, in that she avoids sex at all costs, but she is always thinking about it. Molly was only able to discover her sexual addiction when she uncovered another addiction, co-dependence. Molly believes the sexual addiction is at her very core and her co-dependence only stemmed from the sexual addiction; “Molly is very ashamed of her sexual addiction and finds her codependence as more acceptable. (Shaef, 1989).
Molly and Crystal are at opposite sides of the sexual addiction spectrum. Theoretically, it would be easy to fall at either end of the spectrum because of the stigma attached to women’s bodies. This connects to the addictive system’s myth that the female body is abnormal (Northrup, 1994). The article describes that some women never even explore their own breasts because they are afraid that it will be seen as masturbation because men can be turned on by breasts. Intense fear of the body could cause some women to become afraid of sex in general and possibly become sexual anorexics. While other women may feel sexually oppressed for so many years that they act out by engaging in sexual desires all of the time. Still many women do fall in between these two categories, whether they are relationship addicts, addicted to pornography, or cyber sex.
Sexual addiction in women is rooted in the struggle for women to express themselves as physical, emotional, and sexual beings. I hope more women feel comfortable stepping out as Crystal Warren did to claim their power and their vitality as women.
Works Cited
It's not my fault i'm a sex addict. (2012, January 29). Mail online, Retrieved from http://
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2093088/Crystal-Warren-reveals-slept-1-000-
men.html
Shaef, A. W. (1989). Sexual addiction. In Escape from intimacy: The pseudo-relationship addictions (pp. 009-045). Harper and Row.
Frye, M. (2010). Oppression. In Reading Women's Lives (pp. 007-0021). Boston, MA: Pearson Learning Solutions.
Ferree, M. C. (2001). Females and sex addiction: Myths and diagnostic implications. Taylor & Francis Journal, 8: 287-300.
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